Thursday, October 7, 2010
Monday, July 30, 2007
What's a Boy To Do?
Early this spring, I was pretty flattered to be accepted to intern at one of the fastest up and coming church plants in America. Not only was it an honor to be asked to apply, but then to be accepted to come to New York City and work with Aaron Coe and the Gallery Church was an honor beyond belief. It was nothing that I had done, but only by God’s grace would such an opportunity befall on me. I boast only in Him, and in the cross of Jesus Christ that I would be able to be in a position to work with such an incredible staff of people, and alongside 12 new brothers and sisters that I will carry in my heart, soul, and prayers for the rest of my life. It certainly has been the experience of a lifetime, the best summer I’ll ever have, and the biggest challenge I’ve ever had to overcome. With Christ as my refuge, strength, and fortress, I made it through 2.5 months in New York alive, renewed, and a much better man.
Working alongside people like Aaron, Maria Haun, Jose Halder, Stan Thomas, Zach Williams, Caleb Clardy, Tim Simpson, and the hosts of other volunteers and family at the Gallery has honestly been one of, if not, the most rewarding experiences of my life, and one that I will never forget. As time moved on this summer, these folks went from strangers to friends, and from New Yorkers to heroes. God has done something great in the lives of these people. Something I can only pray He will do for me in time. Moving them to a place of ministry in a city that has nothing and giving them the heart to see it through is truly a miracle. These are the best people I know. Not to mention the other interns I came to know and love, some a little more than I would have ever expected to, and may have even wanted to! Living, working, praying, worshipping, crying, laughing, eating, and sharing secrets with each other has created a bond that will never be forgotten or taken lightly. I love you guys.
When you work alongside your heroes everyday, with people you’ve come to admire and adore, it gets really easy to doubt yourself and what God has instilled in you. It becomes easy to see your weaknesses and your failures. I’m the worst sinner I know, I’m the worst sinner in New York, yet I am loved, forgiven, and known. Christ not only points this out in our lives but does amazing things to show us our worth. When I was approached a few days ago about staying in New York and helping the staff open a fourth gathering and assisting in City Uprising, once again you can imagine my shock. A task that I am not worthy of, and being asked, once again by folks that have become my idols. I wrested for days over what I should do. The thought of staying in New York and working everyday in this city was certainly something I long to do. Something I’ve come to love. I love this city. It’s my city. I love this church, this staff, and these people that most of my friends and family warned me about for so long. Staying in New York was not only a realistic option, but a very good possibility. I could still go to school as well as get hands on ministry training. I feel like God has prepared me for this moment.
I also, however, know that I am needed. Not to make myself sound like I am some sort of person of importance, but there are people who count on me in South Carolina. I have many friends I love dearly, a family that I’m freakishly close to, and a new cousin on the way on August 28th. Plus, I am in a great church, have many new goals for my education, as well as many ministry opportunities already underway. This was honestly, the most difficult decision I’ve ever had to make. After hours on the phone with the people I’m closest to, along with their prayers and mine, I have decided that it is in the best interest of my future education, ministry, and relationships that I should stay in contact and working in a volunteer staff/intern position with the Gallery Church while continuing to further my education, ministry, and life in Columbia.
I hope to continue to work with the staff in New York and hope to be included in their future plans. I’ve never had a better work experience, and I know that the Lord has called me to give part of my life to this city. Just not yet. I am a person who takes risks, I like risks. The risks we take in life make us who we are. Whether the right or wrong choice, no matter the pain that comes with it, we always find out more about who we are and we always come out trusting Christ more in tough situations. I feel this is His call for me, I feel this is right. I am not scared to move to NYC, I would jump off that cliff in a second if I felt that is what God wanted me to do. At this time, I don’t feel like it is. I am very flattered, proud, and appreciative of the offer that was given to me. I hope one day it will be extended again, a day when I could fully accept. Thank you Gallery Staff for all of your love, support, teaching, and prayers. I hope to work alongside you again soon.
In Christ,
Neal Hendrick
Working alongside people like Aaron, Maria Haun, Jose Halder, Stan Thomas, Zach Williams, Caleb Clardy, Tim Simpson, and the hosts of other volunteers and family at the Gallery has honestly been one of, if not, the most rewarding experiences of my life, and one that I will never forget. As time moved on this summer, these folks went from strangers to friends, and from New Yorkers to heroes. God has done something great in the lives of these people. Something I can only pray He will do for me in time. Moving them to a place of ministry in a city that has nothing and giving them the heart to see it through is truly a miracle. These are the best people I know. Not to mention the other interns I came to know and love, some a little more than I would have ever expected to, and may have even wanted to! Living, working, praying, worshipping, crying, laughing, eating, and sharing secrets with each other has created a bond that will never be forgotten or taken lightly. I love you guys.
When you work alongside your heroes everyday, with people you’ve come to admire and adore, it gets really easy to doubt yourself and what God has instilled in you. It becomes easy to see your weaknesses and your failures. I’m the worst sinner I know, I’m the worst sinner in New York, yet I am loved, forgiven, and known. Christ not only points this out in our lives but does amazing things to show us our worth. When I was approached a few days ago about staying in New York and helping the staff open a fourth gathering and assisting in City Uprising, once again you can imagine my shock. A task that I am not worthy of, and being asked, once again by folks that have become my idols. I wrested for days over what I should do. The thought of staying in New York and working everyday in this city was certainly something I long to do. Something I’ve come to love. I love this city. It’s my city. I love this church, this staff, and these people that most of my friends and family warned me about for so long. Staying in New York was not only a realistic option, but a very good possibility. I could still go to school as well as get hands on ministry training. I feel like God has prepared me for this moment.
I also, however, know that I am needed. Not to make myself sound like I am some sort of person of importance, but there are people who count on me in South Carolina. I have many friends I love dearly, a family that I’m freakishly close to, and a new cousin on the way on August 28th. Plus, I am in a great church, have many new goals for my education, as well as many ministry opportunities already underway. This was honestly, the most difficult decision I’ve ever had to make. After hours on the phone with the people I’m closest to, along with their prayers and mine, I have decided that it is in the best interest of my future education, ministry, and relationships that I should stay in contact and working in a volunteer staff/intern position with the Gallery Church while continuing to further my education, ministry, and life in Columbia.
I hope to continue to work with the staff in New York and hope to be included in their future plans. I’ve never had a better work experience, and I know that the Lord has called me to give part of my life to this city. Just not yet. I am a person who takes risks, I like risks. The risks we take in life make us who we are. Whether the right or wrong choice, no matter the pain that comes with it, we always find out more about who we are and we always come out trusting Christ more in tough situations. I feel this is His call for me, I feel this is right. I am not scared to move to NYC, I would jump off that cliff in a second if I felt that is what God wanted me to do. At this time, I don’t feel like it is. I am very flattered, proud, and appreciative of the offer that was given to me. I hope one day it will be extended again, a day when I could fully accept. Thank you Gallery Staff for all of your love, support, teaching, and prayers. I hope to work alongside you again soon.
In Christ,
Neal Hendrick
Saturday, June 30, 2007
That's the guy that gets his salsa from New York City! New York City!?
Um, so if Chic-fil-a and Central Park french fries had babies, the offspring would be what you see at Chelsea Grill. So stinking good. Those of you from Conway know what I'm talking about. AMAZING. New York is still going well. Still love it, still not ready to come home. Which is a good thing, because at least I have one more month. The city itself is amazing, so many stinking people it's crazy. Like, 66,000 people living on one square block is the average, if you're keeping score at home that's a bloody TON of people. Anyways, meeting tons of new friends, getting closer to God than ever before, and starting to realize what He's calling me to. For the first time in my life I feel like I have a grasp on everything that's going on in my life. Know what that means? He's about to rock me. Anyways, thought some of you may find this fun, here are some "That's what she said..." all-stars:
"Is it going in and out as hard as you can get it to?" ...
"It's so long I just want to ride it for fun."
"It's so stinking hard."
"I thought it'd be bigger than that."
"Can I touch it?"
"Every single time I see that I just laugh"
"Neal, make that hole bigger"
Sorry, I know some of those are incredibly vulgar but come on, they're funny as crap. Don't lie. Not much insight tonight, sorry about that, but come on, we all needed a break from being so serious. Goodnight!
nh
"Is it going in and out as hard as you can get it to?" ...
"It's so long I just want to ride it for fun."
"It's so stinking hard."
"I thought it'd be bigger than that."
"Can I touch it?"
"Every single time I see that I just laugh"
"Neal, make that hole bigger"
Sorry, I know some of those are incredibly vulgar but come on, they're funny as crap. Don't lie. Not much insight tonight, sorry about that, but come on, we all needed a break from being so serious. Goodnight!
nh
Saturday, June 23, 2007
People were impressed with 'odious banalities'
So I wanted to blog again tonight. Pretty much just bored. I got some people's comments and most of them had the same general response. 'Um, what is an odious banality and when did you get smart?' (Also got 1 marriage proposal!) Well, I'm still not smart, not sure I ever will be. However, you people need to use a dictionary or maybe pick up a book every once in a while. They really aren't that big of words. So, anyways, in my new "blog" (and by blog I mean writing. I hate the word blog, makes me sound like a nerd) I wanted to be funny and entertaining, yet at the same time still give an update from the Empire State and maybe some Godly wisdom somewhere (I had to delete the word wisdom when I typed it because I typo ed it twice. Guess I'm not wise after all. But hey, today within a thirty second span I saw a guy pee out of a phone booth and a nun on a bike! True story!). Then I realized I was neither A) Funny B) Entertaining or C) Wise. So this was going to be a problem. I'm not even sure if a few sentences ago I used parenthesis correctly. I also use a lot of semi-colons; who knows what those things do anyways? I sure don't.
Anyways, today was really productive. A day off. Whew, NICE. I needed it after having an exhausting conversation last night with Stan "The Greatest Preacher in all of the Universe" Thomas. Needless to say, to have an intellectual argument with such a theologically wise person and stand my ground was a lot of fun, and very rewarding. Let's see how you do with the points of our argument. Read them, then comment below if you'd like. The arguments will be numbered for those of you playing the home game:
1) What is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit?
2) Can a Christian blaspheme the Holy Spirit? (Stan thought so)
3) If we have eternal security (Rom. 8:37-39) how can a Christian commit the unforgivable sin?
4) If 2 and 3 are true, how can a Christian enter the Kingdom of Heaven with an u forgiven sin?
Have fun. We got nowhere but it certainly was VERY interesting.
In other news I got to spend the day with some really awesome guys. Ryan and I ate lunch together at JG Melon's (unanimously the best burger in NYC) followed by some shopping on 5th Ave at the LaCoste Store and the NBC Store (Had to get a Dwight bobble-head, so amazing). Then he came back to the apartment but I wasn't feeling just sitting around so I gave myself a tour of Columbia's Campus. It was amazing. Beautiful campus and got some really cool gifts for the family. Reyn Danesi was in town, so we went out tonight and just took in the town. Its always nice to see an old face, even though everyone up here is great, when home comes up and visits it's really nice to get some kind of normalcy in the schedule. We went to Top of the Rock and just sat up there, looked at the city and talked about life and laughed a lot. It was nice.
I have to admit, New York is still great, and I can't shake the feeling that I'd love to leave a Gallery Church Gathering up here at some point. Even in all of the greatness and life is good-ness God still finds a way to teach. I'm on my way down from the top of the mountain I was on last time I wrote here. I felt it coming, and I'm really excited tomorrow is Sunday. Just the chance to worship the Most-High King has me really pumped. Even though my prayer life has laxed since last week, i'm not on top of my sinfulness and convictions like I should be, and my priorities are starting to re-arrange selfishly again, God still finds a way to get through to me in my weakness. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Cor. 12:9. His revelations continue to amaze me.
Gay pride week ends tomorrow and there are parades, carnivals, and festivals all around the city. It's just another aspect of New York that one coming from small town South Carolina has to get used to. It's uncomfortable, it's awkward, and it's really in a lot of ways sad and upsetting. It is however, amazing how God has used that to minister to me and some of my co-workers (I'm assuming, and hoping). It's easy to be uncomfortable and laugh or be embarrassed by something you see on the street or in a restaurant or bar, but not only with homosexuality, but with all the sin in this city it's really God's way of reminding me to be on my toes in my glorification of Him. Just the other night I got into 3 or 4 conversations with people that I had no clue who they were. Whether we talked about college baseball, pro baseball, or Christ just by being friendly and even in a smile at someone on the street, God gets that glory. With every person I come in contact with, whether in conversation or in passing, I need to have my mind on the everlasting, on the eternal. Hoping, praying, expecting that God will use me as a tool for His kingdom. It's sad that being a Christian for about 5,6 years now I'm just starting to grasp an eternal heart, and what that looks like and means. When we stop focusing on the uncomfortable-ness of being an alien and realize that with or without our help, God's mission will be accomplished; it really helps us jump on board with what He's thinking. We re-evaluate everything. Things like: (1) Our relationship with Christ, (2) our relationships with others, and (3) our realizations about ourselves change drastically. They have to. Like Stan said to me: “Only and Eternal Being can quench an eternal desire.” It’s so true.
1. The main inspiration of prayer, Scripture, and meditation on Christ moves from a selfish heart of ‘This is what I need to do today,’ ‘What will I get out of my time with Jesus?,’ and ‘Better read the Bible so I can get through it in a year without getting too far behind.’ Into a heart that has a hunger, a longing, a dying need for the touch of Christ in that day. Your heart goes from task-oriented to not being able to beat without being graced with the presence of God. It’s truly an amazing feeling to be walking across the campus of Fordham University and hunger for the Word of God.
2. Our relationships with others also change drastically. We move from a presupposition of giving and being given in friendship to a point of doing everything in our power to display the love of Christ to those people. Laying down our life for our friends. Loving them with an eternal heart. We transplant ourselves in those people’s lives for nothing more than to glorify God so much in that friendship that they look passed you and into something much greater. They look towards the source of your service. Namely, Christ. Christ, His love, and the cross being motivation for everything. As far as romantically I think if we use the same idea as friendship along with the added bonus of Glorifying God in your love for one another and asking the single most important question in all of romantic love: ”Do we glorify God better together as a couple, or apart in our singleness?” If there is any hesitation when asking this question at all, then you know the answer. There is no negotiating this answer, it must be a resounding ‘yes.’ If not, it’s time to move along.
3. Finally, the realization of ourselves changes. We all of a sudden realize that nothing is impossible. We are not our own. We were bought with a price. That price being our Sovereign King humbling Himself into human form and taking on the joy set before Him in the form of death a cross. Taking all of that in, we understand that Christ in us is the hope of glory, and while we fall short, we sin, we have to strive for holiness, He can and will endure. Sin has lost it’s power, death no longer has a sting. Christ is ultimate and that will never change. He will prevail, He will get the glory (Psalm 115:1), and He can choose to do with us and our lives whatever He so wills. We begin to comprehend that all the tests, trials, heartaches, and misfortunes are for a purpose. That purpose is Him being made strong in our weakness, Him being shown as more important and more valuable than ANYTHING this world can give us. A power testimony to all in our lives and to ourselves. Through these ordeals He is making us the people that we are called to be.
I leave you with some words from a song we sang in church last week. I had never heard it, but reading these words, if you really take them in, are amazing. Let this be your prayer. I am praying for you, I love you, and I pray that through something that will be written in these blogs for as long as I feel called to write them, will change you.
How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
My chains are gone; I’ve been set free
My Christ My Savior, has ransomed me
Like a flood, His mercy reigns
Unending Love, Amazing grace
How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory
My chains are gone; I’ve been set free
My Christ My Savior, has ransomed me
Like a flood, His mercy reigns
Unending Love, Amazing grace
Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers
My chains are gone; I’ve been set free
My Christ My Savior, has ransomed me
Like a flood, His mercy reigns
Unending Love, Amazing grace
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished
My chains are gone; I’ve been set free
My Christ My Savior, has ransomed me
Like a flood, His mercy reigns
Unending Love, Amazing grace
I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
My chains are gone; I’ve been set free
My Christ My Savior, has ransomed me
Like a flood, His mercy reigns
Unending Love, Amazing grace
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
My chains are gone; I’ve been set free
My Christ My Savior, has ransomed me
Like a flood, His mercy reigns
Unending Love, Amazing grace
Amen.
Anyways, today was really productive. A day off. Whew, NICE. I needed it after having an exhausting conversation last night with Stan "The Greatest Preacher in all of the Universe" Thomas. Needless to say, to have an intellectual argument with such a theologically wise person and stand my ground was a lot of fun, and very rewarding. Let's see how you do with the points of our argument. Read them, then comment below if you'd like. The arguments will be numbered for those of you playing the home game:
1) What is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit?
2) Can a Christian blaspheme the Holy Spirit? (Stan thought so)
3) If we have eternal security (Rom. 8:37-39) how can a Christian commit the unforgivable sin?
4) If 2 and 3 are true, how can a Christian enter the Kingdom of Heaven with an u forgiven sin?
Have fun. We got nowhere but it certainly was VERY interesting.
In other news I got to spend the day with some really awesome guys. Ryan and I ate lunch together at JG Melon's (unanimously the best burger in NYC) followed by some shopping on 5th Ave at the LaCoste Store and the NBC Store (Had to get a Dwight bobble-head, so amazing). Then he came back to the apartment but I wasn't feeling just sitting around so I gave myself a tour of Columbia's Campus. It was amazing. Beautiful campus and got some really cool gifts for the family. Reyn Danesi was in town, so we went out tonight and just took in the town. Its always nice to see an old face, even though everyone up here is great, when home comes up and visits it's really nice to get some kind of normalcy in the schedule. We went to Top of the Rock and just sat up there, looked at the city and talked about life and laughed a lot. It was nice.
I have to admit, New York is still great, and I can't shake the feeling that I'd love to leave a Gallery Church Gathering up here at some point. Even in all of the greatness and life is good-ness God still finds a way to teach. I'm on my way down from the top of the mountain I was on last time I wrote here. I felt it coming, and I'm really excited tomorrow is Sunday. Just the chance to worship the Most-High King has me really pumped. Even though my prayer life has laxed since last week, i'm not on top of my sinfulness and convictions like I should be, and my priorities are starting to re-arrange selfishly again, God still finds a way to get through to me in my weakness. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Cor. 12:9. His revelations continue to amaze me.
Gay pride week ends tomorrow and there are parades, carnivals, and festivals all around the city. It's just another aspect of New York that one coming from small town South Carolina has to get used to. It's uncomfortable, it's awkward, and it's really in a lot of ways sad and upsetting. It is however, amazing how God has used that to minister to me and some of my co-workers (I'm assuming, and hoping). It's easy to be uncomfortable and laugh or be embarrassed by something you see on the street or in a restaurant or bar, but not only with homosexuality, but with all the sin in this city it's really God's way of reminding me to be on my toes in my glorification of Him. Just the other night I got into 3 or 4 conversations with people that I had no clue who they were. Whether we talked about college baseball, pro baseball, or Christ just by being friendly and even in a smile at someone on the street, God gets that glory. With every person I come in contact with, whether in conversation or in passing, I need to have my mind on the everlasting, on the eternal. Hoping, praying, expecting that God will use me as a tool for His kingdom. It's sad that being a Christian for about 5,6 years now I'm just starting to grasp an eternal heart, and what that looks like and means. When we stop focusing on the uncomfortable-ness of being an alien and realize that with or without our help, God's mission will be accomplished; it really helps us jump on board with what He's thinking. We re-evaluate everything. Things like: (1) Our relationship with Christ, (2) our relationships with others, and (3) our realizations about ourselves change drastically. They have to. Like Stan said to me: “Only and Eternal Being can quench an eternal desire.” It’s so true.
1. The main inspiration of prayer, Scripture, and meditation on Christ moves from a selfish heart of ‘This is what I need to do today,’ ‘What will I get out of my time with Jesus?,’ and ‘Better read the Bible so I can get through it in a year without getting too far behind.’ Into a heart that has a hunger, a longing, a dying need for the touch of Christ in that day. Your heart goes from task-oriented to not being able to beat without being graced with the presence of God. It’s truly an amazing feeling to be walking across the campus of Fordham University and hunger for the Word of God.
2. Our relationships with others also change drastically. We move from a presupposition of giving and being given in friendship to a point of doing everything in our power to display the love of Christ to those people. Laying down our life for our friends. Loving them with an eternal heart. We transplant ourselves in those people’s lives for nothing more than to glorify God so much in that friendship that they look passed you and into something much greater. They look towards the source of your service. Namely, Christ. Christ, His love, and the cross being motivation for everything. As far as romantically I think if we use the same idea as friendship along with the added bonus of Glorifying God in your love for one another and asking the single most important question in all of romantic love: ”Do we glorify God better together as a couple, or apart in our singleness?” If there is any hesitation when asking this question at all, then you know the answer. There is no negotiating this answer, it must be a resounding ‘yes.’ If not, it’s time to move along.
3. Finally, the realization of ourselves changes. We all of a sudden realize that nothing is impossible. We are not our own. We were bought with a price. That price being our Sovereign King humbling Himself into human form and taking on the joy set before Him in the form of death a cross. Taking all of that in, we understand that Christ in us is the hope of glory, and while we fall short, we sin, we have to strive for holiness, He can and will endure. Sin has lost it’s power, death no longer has a sting. Christ is ultimate and that will never change. He will prevail, He will get the glory (Psalm 115:1), and He can choose to do with us and our lives whatever He so wills. We begin to comprehend that all the tests, trials, heartaches, and misfortunes are for a purpose. That purpose is Him being made strong in our weakness, Him being shown as more important and more valuable than ANYTHING this world can give us. A power testimony to all in our lives and to ourselves. Through these ordeals He is making us the people that we are called to be.
I leave you with some words from a song we sang in church last week. I had never heard it, but reading these words, if you really take them in, are amazing. Let this be your prayer. I am praying for you, I love you, and I pray that through something that will be written in these blogs for as long as I feel called to write them, will change you.
How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
My chains are gone; I’ve been set free
My Christ My Savior, has ransomed me
Like a flood, His mercy reigns
Unending Love, Amazing grace
How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory
My chains are gone; I’ve been set free
My Christ My Savior, has ransomed me
Like a flood, His mercy reigns
Unending Love, Amazing grace
Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers
My chains are gone; I’ve been set free
My Christ My Savior, has ransomed me
Like a flood, His mercy reigns
Unending Love, Amazing grace
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished
My chains are gone; I’ve been set free
My Christ My Savior, has ransomed me
Like a flood, His mercy reigns
Unending Love, Amazing grace
I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
My chains are gone; I’ve been set free
My Christ My Savior, has ransomed me
Like a flood, His mercy reigns
Unending Love, Amazing grace
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
My chains are gone; I’ve been set free
My Christ My Savior, has ransomed me
Like a flood, His mercy reigns
Unending Love, Amazing grace
Amen.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Live from the 212...
It’s funny how when the Lord calls you to something He works in such amazing ways that you would never have expected. As I sit here looking at the Empire State Building out of my window it’s astounding to think about how I got where I am. I’m not just talking about physically in New York City; I’m talking about everything. Living peanuts and a diet coke away from home, spiritually walking with Christ on new turf, and emotionally being drained to a point where I’ve almost become numb to life. Sound fun? It is. I was truly excited about living in New York City for a few months. Among the strange people, big buildings, blinding lights, and amazing influence. I thought it would be the easiest few months of my life. I couldn’t have been more wrong. My first day was a 12-hour move in followed by weeks of waking up early. I mean early. Sometimes at like 4-something to go to Queens, Jersey, or the Upper West Side; it’s been anything but easy. Working 7 days a week from those early hours in the morning to the late nights at Rustin High School had me in a place where I felt I was beyond repair. I was a phone call away from packing my bags and leaving.
The Lord then revealed Himself in ways I never knew He could. Literally in less than 24 hours He taught me a lesson that changed my life forever. These long days, working 7 days a week with hardly any rest weren’t going to get easier. Certainly I could quit. He would provide a plane ticket and a way out. I was free to choose that. Just as I am free to choose anything in my life. I could flee, or I could stay. With my prayers falling on seemingly deaf ears from upstairs, an administration that wouldn’t hear my concerns, and co-workers complaining alongside with me the Lord finally showed up. Quit, and be that man for the rest of my life. Or I could stay, stay and become the man I needed to be. I have been praying for YEARS, my #1 prayer request over the last 4 or 5 years has been that God would make me the man that He wanted me to be. In my moment of defeat, when Satan was ready to proclaim victory and send this beach bum back to the Grand Strand God broke His silence. It was almost audible: “This has been your prayer, do it. It will be hard and you don’t have the power to make it. You don’t have the energy or the strength. But I do. Stay in New York and become the man I’ve made you to be.”
Not only was I being called to stay in New York, but I was told to stay, work hard, and do it without complaining. It’s not going to be easy. The Lord will use the rest of this summer for amazing good. I can sense it, I feel it from inside. That kind of feeling that as people we don’t get nearly enough. These tests and trials that He will provide victory in will show the world his power in my weakness. Through it all He is making me the man that I will become until I meet Him face to face. He’s making me the man that will guide my children, that will be a light for my world, and He’s making me the man that my wife will fall in love with. Without this summer, these trials, and these victories, my future wife would have a weak quitter for a husband. Now she will love a man that knows full on what it means to be filled with the power of Christ.
Love is another subject He is teaching me on as I go through this summer. Hopefully I’ll have more to share on this as it is revealed to me, and some of it may need more clarification later. In fact, I’m sure it will. I’m no expert on love, that is obvious. However, I think that He is also teaching me more about people and what it means to care for them. Love is not making much of someone. Love is not sitting there and talking about another person and exclaiming how extravagantly compassionate, beautiful, caring, funny, self-sacrificing, honest, and pleasurable they are. That’s the opposite of love. That’s selfish conceit. That’s a fool’s ambition. Sure those are great qualities, however it’s quite contrary to what love truly is. The world teaches us that in order to love someone we make much of them. We exclaim these very odious banalities to everyone and prance it in front of people defining it as love. It isn’t. Love is not making much of someone, or the qualities that the Lord has enabled them to possess. We cheapen love by these definitions. No matter how hard we may try, we cannot look for love. It cannot be found by us, it cannot be influenced by us, it cannot be acquired by our own accord. We tend to look to people for love, we pursue people based on various things. Looks, prestige, how much fun we have when we’re with them, and sure those things are certainly important; however, we must realize that most of the time we convince ourselves and confirm our emotions with very little actual assertion.
Love isn’t qualities. Love isn’t being made much of. Love isn’t restricted. Love is a King come down from His throne and placed on earth with human hands and feet that can be pierced. Love is grace when we deserve anything but. Love is being turned from a wretch to a treasure. Love is a dark Friday afternoon and a cross. That is our fortune. That’s what we seek. Love is laboring, striving, fighting, and suffering; even to a point of death to bring someone the one thing that will make him or her infinitely and eternally happy. That is namely the love of Christ. Nothing else matters. We sit in a room and wait on a phone call, we text back and forth for hours, we think and think and think over something we may have said that was right or wrong to someone we seek something more with, or a family member, or just a friend. We are anxious over things that are beyond our own control. Love Christ first. Seek His kingdom first.” But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness” (Matthew 6:33). Once we learn to let go of everything in this world that we should hate is when He reveals to us our very desires. As this happens it’s funny what your desires become. Notice that we are not called to be bitter and be unkind to those close to us. Quite the opposite really; however, our love for Christ should, in comparison to our love for everything else look as hate because we love Him to such a strong extent.
Let's summarize and pray that it becomes more clear. The love of God is not God’s making much of us, but God’s saving us from self-centered sin so that we can enjoy making much of Him forever. Our love to others is not our making much of them, but our helping them to find eternal satisfaction in making much of God. The only ultimate love is a love that aims at satisfying people in the glory of God. Any love that terminates on man is eventually destructive. It does not lead a person to the only lasting joy, God. Love must be God-centered or it is not the greatest love; it leaves people without their deepest need and their only hope.
When we realize that these important aspects of love are really the only way to love, it is then that we learn how to treat people. It is only then that we can truly give ourselves to another person. We are not our own to give, we are His to give away when we return to Him. We have to completely, unequivocally give up everything that is “us” and turn our full attention to Him before it can be expected that we find some happiness in someone else. We have to stop looking for what, or who, makes us happy and love Him with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength so that His love is enough. When you think about it, isn’t that the kind of person you want to love? One that could never fully have your heart? Mine is taken, so is my attention. Only an eternal God can fill that eternal desire.
The Lord then revealed Himself in ways I never knew He could. Literally in less than 24 hours He taught me a lesson that changed my life forever. These long days, working 7 days a week with hardly any rest weren’t going to get easier. Certainly I could quit. He would provide a plane ticket and a way out. I was free to choose that. Just as I am free to choose anything in my life. I could flee, or I could stay. With my prayers falling on seemingly deaf ears from upstairs, an administration that wouldn’t hear my concerns, and co-workers complaining alongside with me the Lord finally showed up. Quit, and be that man for the rest of my life. Or I could stay, stay and become the man I needed to be. I have been praying for YEARS, my #1 prayer request over the last 4 or 5 years has been that God would make me the man that He wanted me to be. In my moment of defeat, when Satan was ready to proclaim victory and send this beach bum back to the Grand Strand God broke His silence. It was almost audible: “This has been your prayer, do it. It will be hard and you don’t have the power to make it. You don’t have the energy or the strength. But I do. Stay in New York and become the man I’ve made you to be.”
Not only was I being called to stay in New York, but I was told to stay, work hard, and do it without complaining. It’s not going to be easy. The Lord will use the rest of this summer for amazing good. I can sense it, I feel it from inside. That kind of feeling that as people we don’t get nearly enough. These tests and trials that He will provide victory in will show the world his power in my weakness. Through it all He is making me the man that I will become until I meet Him face to face. He’s making me the man that will guide my children, that will be a light for my world, and He’s making me the man that my wife will fall in love with. Without this summer, these trials, and these victories, my future wife would have a weak quitter for a husband. Now she will love a man that knows full on what it means to be filled with the power of Christ.
Love is another subject He is teaching me on as I go through this summer. Hopefully I’ll have more to share on this as it is revealed to me, and some of it may need more clarification later. In fact, I’m sure it will. I’m no expert on love, that is obvious. However, I think that He is also teaching me more about people and what it means to care for them. Love is not making much of someone. Love is not sitting there and talking about another person and exclaiming how extravagantly compassionate, beautiful, caring, funny, self-sacrificing, honest, and pleasurable they are. That’s the opposite of love. That’s selfish conceit. That’s a fool’s ambition. Sure those are great qualities, however it’s quite contrary to what love truly is. The world teaches us that in order to love someone we make much of them. We exclaim these very odious banalities to everyone and prance it in front of people defining it as love. It isn’t. Love is not making much of someone, or the qualities that the Lord has enabled them to possess. We cheapen love by these definitions. No matter how hard we may try, we cannot look for love. It cannot be found by us, it cannot be influenced by us, it cannot be acquired by our own accord. We tend to look to people for love, we pursue people based on various things. Looks, prestige, how much fun we have when we’re with them, and sure those things are certainly important; however, we must realize that most of the time we convince ourselves and confirm our emotions with very little actual assertion.
Love isn’t qualities. Love isn’t being made much of. Love isn’t restricted. Love is a King come down from His throne and placed on earth with human hands and feet that can be pierced. Love is grace when we deserve anything but. Love is being turned from a wretch to a treasure. Love is a dark Friday afternoon and a cross. That is our fortune. That’s what we seek. Love is laboring, striving, fighting, and suffering; even to a point of death to bring someone the one thing that will make him or her infinitely and eternally happy. That is namely the love of Christ. Nothing else matters. We sit in a room and wait on a phone call, we text back and forth for hours, we think and think and think over something we may have said that was right or wrong to someone we seek something more with, or a family member, or just a friend. We are anxious over things that are beyond our own control. Love Christ first. Seek His kingdom first.” But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness” (Matthew 6:33). Once we learn to let go of everything in this world that we should hate is when He reveals to us our very desires. As this happens it’s funny what your desires become. Notice that we are not called to be bitter and be unkind to those close to us. Quite the opposite really; however, our love for Christ should, in comparison to our love for everything else look as hate because we love Him to such a strong extent.
Let's summarize and pray that it becomes more clear. The love of God is not God’s making much of us, but God’s saving us from self-centered sin so that we can enjoy making much of Him forever. Our love to others is not our making much of them, but our helping them to find eternal satisfaction in making much of God. The only ultimate love is a love that aims at satisfying people in the glory of God. Any love that terminates on man is eventually destructive. It does not lead a person to the only lasting joy, God. Love must be God-centered or it is not the greatest love; it leaves people without their deepest need and their only hope.
When we realize that these important aspects of love are really the only way to love, it is then that we learn how to treat people. It is only then that we can truly give ourselves to another person. We are not our own to give, we are His to give away when we return to Him. We have to completely, unequivocally give up everything that is “us” and turn our full attention to Him before it can be expected that we find some happiness in someone else. We have to stop looking for what, or who, makes us happy and love Him with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength so that His love is enough. When you think about it, isn’t that the kind of person you want to love? One that could never fully have your heart? Mine is taken, so is my attention. Only an eternal God can fill that eternal desire.
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